Saturday, February 5, 2011
I don't feel sick anymore but I've been really tired these last couple of days. Coupled with my cravings for junk food. I wonder if it all started on Wednesday when I had that piece of chocolate on my downer day? As I reflect I realize that I have no problem eating super healthy. This morning I had my oatmeal bowl (hemp hearts, chia seeds, banana, nutmeg and chopped walnuts) with 4 egg whites, for snack I had my hummus and veggies, for lunch and diner I had bowls of chili and rice soup. I also snacked on an apple slices dipped in natural peanut butter and greek yogourt with a bit of agave nectar- sooo good by the way. But today I also had a piece of ice cream cake and 2 natej (which are like a custard tart). Wow talk about junk food overload for one day. Perhaps because I don't get a lot of sugar when I do my insulin spikes and I am very sensitive to the drop in my blood sugar because all I want to do is sleep. It's interesting but I want to blame Mark for diet sabotage when he brought home these custard tarts, but really the issue is that I have no self control. To live this healthy lifestyle I've been given props by a lot of people because my family eats so healthy but really it's because I would eat any and all junk food if it was in the house (when the temptations hits). If Mark wants cookies, I tell him they have to stay in the trunk of his car so that I don't see them. I also don't buy stuff for the kids that I wouldn't eat (in terms of sugar and salt content) so that way I don't have to be worried about being tempted. And it's also a very good thing that we have no extra money to spend on take out (even though I know how ikky most of it is) I know I would indulge every now and then if the cash was available. (my weakness is the gingerbread molasses cookie from Starbucks) In many ways I wouldn't eat the junk food it was around but what I'm curious about is, what triggers the temptations. Why would I let Mark sabotage my diet? When actually he was just trying to do a nice thing. It's seems so stupid really, I'm honestly trying to think of what is triggering this need to eat junk food (or cake) and I can't come up with anything. Should I be able to know what is going on in my own mind? Other than I'm feeling tired and I am tempted by sugar as an "upper", I have nothing. I guess I should sleep more so that I crave less junk. Monday I'll be doing Cooler 1 from Tosca's book! wish me luck!