I meditated yesterday but I think too late at night because the bell woke me up, actually it scared me silly. Today is a bit earlier than yesterday (mind you not by much) but I just could not focus on meditating. I tried,at one point I was breathing in (saying the mantra) and exhaling (saying the mantra) and even though I know I was mentally thinking the mantra, I was still caught up in my brain drama. Something happened today, a negative experience, and even though I was trying not to perseverate on it, it kept creeping in my thoughts. Sort of like an annoying bug bite. Little and itchy. So then I thought, this has got to stop. Obviously I'm not able to chant the mantra, I may as well throw in that towel and try to think about something that might cause me to have more positive experiences at work. I was thinking of ways that I could help others. Since it is clear I cannot change some peoples negative energy, I can at least try to attract more joy into mine by spreading it! Which happen to be Day 3's
“Today, I focus on what I want to attract into my life.”
Today was such a busy day, full day of teaching, more work in my new portable (setting it up), writting out 3 unit tests and study notes... and the list goes on. After school I was so happy to be able to sneak out to do a 1 hour hot yoga class at PYC. I kept trying to remind myself that abundance is everywhere, joy, love... Basically people have so much to give I just need to be open to it. Especially kids... I feel bad because I didn't get to see my kids very much today because after yoga I had to run back out to do the baptism prep course at the church. I tucked them in and had a short cuddle with each.
But thinking about something this powerful, is hard. I mean thinking about anything other than "what has to happen next" is hard. I find myself spinning my wheel most of the time, trying to get things done, thinking about what has to be done next, what I've already done - was it good enough, what can I do better next time... Sheesh... Rarely do I stop and just be present and mindful of the fact that the world will just continue on whether I finish the task or not. The task will still get done, but I can at least be more aware that positive energy is around me...
I think that is what today's message what basically about... The infinite source of abundance is everywhere, it is the energy, the higher power, everything is made from the same "stuff".... I just need to tap into it to receive it. Like having a big fat "smell the roses" moment... But more often and to open up the passageway to receiving the abundance that I want. He asked us today to think of what we want more of in our life... I think I want more joy.... I did briefly think of money... but nope I just want to have more moments of joy. I want to feel happy, and experience it as often as possible. I get so caught up in my own spinning wheels and drama that I forget how much "awesomeness" is in my life. My kids, my family, my friends, my yoga community, and me. (ok that last one was a conscious effort to acknowledge that I'm not so bad myself). I don't do that very well or very often. I'm sure having post partum depression has not helped this fact either. If you know me very very well you know that I harbour a deep secret. Well here it is, I have little to no self esteem. So perhaps I should try to tap into that. His quote " Abundance,
like everything else in the universe, is simply a specific arrangement
of energy and information. With our intention, we can change the energy,
add new information, and manifest whatever we want, need, or desire.
Abundance is unlimited, unbounded, and always available." - Deepak
Another challenge 21 days long! But this time it's all about meditation. I have never in my life attempted to meditate over the course of a set amount of days. Sure I've done it at the end of my yoga practises. And I partially think that I can meditate because I'm too physically exhausted to "twitch or move", so I can just STAY and BE PRESENT and MINDFUL.
Here is the link, I'm not sure if it's too late to sign up. I am very blessed to have a close friend who literally reminded me 5 times to sign up, and then she checked in today to make sure I got the first email! Thank goodness for a friend who shares her abundance with me. Her love and caring is contagious.... Now I'm going to share with you what I learned... or what I will learn throughout this process.
Today I followed along, once the kitchen was clean, my school work was done and I could just sit on my bed and feel like nothing pressing needed to get done! I clicked on the play button and wow... I felt so completely relaxed by the end that part way through the meditation (Sooooo Hummmm, Sooooo-breath in-----Hummm-breath out---sooooo hummmm... ) I found my chin resting on my chest... whoa how did that happen. I actually got so into my "mindful presence" that I didn't notice my body totally relaxing that much. So tomorrow I will lie on my back to meditate (the way we do after yoga).
The message for today was to behold the abundance that surrounds us... I will keep reflecting on this tomorrow as I go through my busiest day at school and I'm hoping that I can remember and catch myself "acknowledging" or being "open" to the abundance that others have to offer.