I think what has truly helped me get through the massive negativity that I encounter about my food choices has been offset by some really amazing people who are in my court and cheering me on. These people might not do as much as I do (they do so many other different but equally amazing things), but they applaud my efforts as opposed to most who try to veer me "back to the norm". The thing is I don't consider eating healthy and clean as being extreme, so why would I want to go anywhere but up. I am always striving to grow and learn more and to incorporate what I learn in my family's life, otherwise what's the point of learning something if you don't practise it? - this statement also applies to parenting techniques, I've taken tons of courses offered through the early years centers and I have tried and still try every day to incorporate what I've learned. - I do have to say, Mark is one of those people that is constantly trying to hold me back, he can only handle very tiny micro changes, I think the kids would adapt much easier if they didn't see my husbands eating habits (which are good, don't get me wrong, but they can definitely be improved on).
Do people feel judged when I show up at play dates with fresh fruits and veggies for my kids??? (they have bear paws and juice boxes) I don't know? Do they? Do people feel threatened by the idea that I can juggle feeding my family healthy nutritious meals most of the time, while still finding time to take care of my home and myself (going to the gym and finding time to pursue my own hobbies) In my experience most people want to know "how I do it" and when I give suggestions, it's literally as I'm talking , I can see the defense mechanism kick in and an excuse "to the why not" is what I hear. But are they actually thinking "well she's home all day! she doesn't have a job! I've seen her house, phft* it's not THAT clean! I can't leave my kids to work out, that would make me selfish! It must be nice to have a husband that will put the kids to bed the nights she works out!" I don't know what people think! Obviously! But what I do get are negative vibes and excuses.
Don't get me wrong, people don't go out of there way to tell me "I'm mean" because I don't give my kids juice when we are out. They don't push cookies on my kids when they know I don't want my kids to eat "refined sugar", well actually some do. But ultimately what I am struggling with is how to "be me" without making other people feel bad! I just want to lead by example, but the problem is, if you know me - you know this to be the very core of me- I am passionate and I love to talk and share what I know! But at what point is "it to much", when do I stop talking and sharing and just "LIVE", should I, temper/filter myself? Should I care what other people think? Or should I care about how my ripples are affecting other peoples lives (and making them uncomfortable)?
My cheerleaders would say "screw em!" live your life to it's fullest expression. Live and shine and dream big and experience everything life has to offer. To hell with the ripples of insecurity you are causing! Let them deal with their own lives. We each have on life to live and why waste any time, worrying about what other people "think" about our choices and our lives.
...and of course the annoying little voice in my heart says "but I do care about what people feel! I care because that is who I am! I don't want to upset anyone!"
Damian, Catherine, Sherry and Columbia... You make the most amazing cheering squad a person could ever want. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so supportive and positively putting up with my quirks! I love you!
ReplyDeleteI like you and your blog, as uncomfortable as it might make me.
ReplyDeleteI'll tell you what, I'll bet you $500 bucks that I will live longer than you. Cookies and all.
ReplyDeleteHi Nat, it's Michelle - you seem to be asking for honest feedback, so I'll chime in. Please forgive if this is not helpful.
ReplyDeleteYou are not responsible for how other people react to you, but you are absolutely responsible for the energy you bring to the room. When I read your blog posts about your trials and efforts, foods, exercise, sucesses and failures, recipes - it's great. You shine when you are focused on your path. But sometimes, your posts are quite judgemental (I am thinking of the review of Food Matters and Earth Hour, the post with the 'what's your excuse' theme), which is very off putting. Live YOUR truth 'face first and 40 miles an hour' (as we say in our house), be centered in your choices, and let your positive energy out. If someone doesn't react well to it, fine. But if you lead with your chin, you may find that fear of judgement is reflected.
Again, apologies if that is not what you wanted to hear.
No problem Michelle. I don't think I realized this when I posted this blog, but now I've realized that I do judge people. (disclaimer: I judge myself even more harshly)
ReplyDeleteIt is my belief that people are motivationally challenged. So am I! And I was more so when I was fueling my body with crap food that it couldn't process. I think that unless people feel some discomfort they will be content in their disillusionment and never be challenged to change!
But thank you very much for your very kind and sensitive comments! I adore that about you, (you must be a teacher) able to get your point across without hurting my feelings :D
ps. Mark has alway's said I'm like Don Cherry! I'll be working on getting my thick skin :D