I have no illusions that this blog to keep me accountable for my new years resolution is going to be easy. I know doing something everyday at first isn't a habit but I'm hoping that near the end of the year I look forward to blogging. Thing is today I had an off day. I'm guessing that's ok. I am not a super hero (yet anyway!) It's not that the whole day was terrible, it wasn't because I managed to enjoy some really cute moments. But because my mood was low, it affected how I perceived things.
I listened to this really cool audio CD a while back talking about anger and one of the metaphors that was given was imagine your mood being like an elevator in an apt. building with 100 floors. Somewhere around the 70th and above floors your mood is up, you are "in a sense" above the clouds, the sun is shining it's warm light, the windows are clean and clear and you can see beautiful landscape for miles and miles. Once your elevator moves down past the 50th and lower floors, the windows get progressively foggy and dirty, the view gets more devastating, you see less landscape and less light until you reach the bottom floor and all you see is darkness.
So even though I have put this pressure on myself to keep my elevator above the 70th floor. Today I kind felt I was someplace around the 40th. Not the whole day mind you, twice today I got up to the 70th and even 75th (at Lil' Monkey's with my kids and at the Goodlife) But I felt little joy in the things that I usually like. And I fully know why I felt like this, it's a lovely combo of not enough sleep, a fight with my spouse, and the fact that me and my kids were sick this weekend and now I'm trying to fight off a stupid cold. Interestingly when I was at both gyms (the indoor play ground gym and Goodlife) I didn't feel sick at all. I felt full of life and very happy. I smiled more and could enjoy the moments. I really noticed this when I left Goodlife and sat driving my car home I started to cough and feel tightness in my chest. Huh right???
Ok I also must tell this tidbit.... today after Attack I actually went into "MAN ZONE"!!!!!! seriously it has only taken me what 3 years to get the balls to do it. But I was talking to a Body Pump instructor and he brought me in... through that invisible force field, where carpet ends and strange rubber mat starts. Even though I had an "escort" I still felt soooo weird being among the tightly clad, massively muscled titans. I have to say that it was kind of like how you never see men in the Zumba classes! Two different worlds exist at the gym. Really fascinating actually. Anyway, I don't think I'm ready to go back unless I have a buddy but at least I did something new today.