Monday, May 2, 2011

My dirty little secret!

I am now going to air some dirty laundry.  For the last week I have been sneaking a piece of ice cream cake (DQ) from the down stairs chest freezer... every day! (sometimes twice a day!)...  The cake was my birthday gift from Mark (I know right!!!  thanks for feeding my addiction!) Every time I eat a slice I am in heaven for those few delicious moments, and then later on I feel the guilt.  Like today I stepped on the scale...  and I pretty much could have just attached a few slices of that cake directly to my hips and butt!

I'm stuck on this stupid downward spiral.  I love the cake, I want that cake, I eat the cake, I then feel like crap for eating the cake, since I feel like crap I want another slice of cake because it tastes just so good, then I notice my hips and butt getting bigger, I feel crappy and beat myself up some more, even though I fully know that every slice I'm eating I can't burn of at the gym (because I don't go to the gym twice a day) and I eat another piece of cake the next day because I love the cake and I want the cake!!! 

Now if you are thinking "wow that girl is stupid" you would be right on so many levels.
1- don't have the cake in the house, if you can't stop eating it (stupid)
2 - get some self control, you preach it!!!  (stupid)
3- don't eat the cake to feel better, it always makes you feel worse (stupid)
4- stop calling yourself fat, you are pregnant (stupid)

In case you are wondering what I'm doing, I can tell you this: I am imagining what people (smart ones) are thinking and wish they could say to me! I know what they are thinking because I am also thinking these things, however the "logical" voice in my head always loses to the emotional/irrational voice! The comments 1-4 are all logical rational thoughts, but for some reason ice cream cake is one of those "foods" for me that shuts off the smart voice.  In most other "food" area's I'm good and rational.  I don't over indulge or eat refined sugars (other than this obviously), sodium is a at a minimum, GF, eat clean (other than this!) and drink tons of water.  So for some reason, this one food has managed to attain dominance over my mind.  I think I need help!

Any suggestions! 

- well once it's gone, it's gone!  I may as well eat the last piece tomorrow and be done with it!  Then I can get back to normal!


  1. Bill Withers said it first

    "If there is a load you have to bear
    That you can't carry
    I'm right up the road
    I'll share your load
    If you just call me"

    I would have been more than happy to share your load ;) Next time, Lean on me!

  2. Thanks Becca. This is a bit of an ongoing battle at this time.

  3. I say just eat the rest of the cake so you can put it all behind you.....not literally of course....

  4. .....and then come to BodyAttack on seriously though, I'm sure he meant for you to enjoy your birthday treat rather than torture yourself over it. You work so hard girl, ENJOY it! Nobody is meant to be perfect, but we're all meant to be happy.

  5. You should have called me. I would have been happy to eat your cake for you. ;) You shouldn't feel guilty about eating an ice cream cake when you've just turned 30 and are pregnant. You are 100% the diva of willpower the rest of the time!

  6. Thanks everyone! DQ cake is now done! *sigh* and the next time I get a cake, I promise to share it rather than horde it, that way we can all have a good time together and eat ice cream cake. This way I won't have the guilt annndddd I'll get to hang out with my awesome friends!