I realize it's been a few days since my last post, I was talking to a friend about the fact that the blog entries are supposed to be about me finding happiness, but in all honesty I've been crabby and tired and swollen nearly every afternoon into the evening and I didn't want to have super negative posts. But today something happened that broke the camels back. My endocrinologist said to me
1- "wow you are only 22 weeks pregnant, I thought you were almost 32 weeks";
2- "do you have diabetes?"
3- "you've gained how much weight?.... that is too much!"
4- "you are to big! you need to cut out some carbs and increase your protein!"
These are exact statements, I found myself apologizing for being Gluten Free because I suppose GF foods don't have as much "whole grains" and fiber. I drove home in a complete daze. I stopped at the grocery store and bought some cans of low sodium salmon, and GF sugar free protein powder. So that negative voice in my head, the one that tells me that I'm gaining to much weight (20lbs to date), the one that tells me that I need to cut down on the "extra treats" I've been allowing myself since being pregnant, that one that tells me I need to exercise more and be more strict with my eat clean diet... has been renewed and strengthened.
So when my husband tells me I look amazing, I will continue to think he is just lying to me. When my friends tell me that I look great, I'll actually be wondering if they are just trying to make me feel better because I'm actually to fat and they feel bad for me.
Wow what a great appointment! This lady is going to cost our family tons of cash in therapy! I wonder instead of trying to make me feel better, which I don't think anything really can at this point, could you refer a good book? The Dr., basically told me everything I've also been telling myself, which sucks! But unfortunately I beleive her, I need real help!