Conversation with a 2 year old at Midnight!!

Patrick:"mama, mama I want cherios."
Me: "babe it's the middle of the night, go back to bed"
Patrick: " I WANT TO EAT CHERIOOOOOSSSsssss"
Me: "ugh, ok lets go!"

after gobbling up a bowl of cherios and drinking a glass of milk, we go back upstairs to try to get back to sleep...

Patrick:"I haf to poo!"
Me: " Lets take your diaper off, (diaper is off and Patrick sits on potty, then gets up 2 seconds later)
Patrick: "I need a bann id"
Me: (half asleep) "What?"
Patrick: "I need A BANN IDDDD"
Me: "A band- aid?"
Patrick: "ya"
Me: "Where?"
Patrick: "On my penis!"
Me: (I've put Patrick on the change table by now) "Sweetie we can't put band-aids on penis."
Patrick: "You kiss it?"
Me: (a little confused, again It's midnight) "What?..."
Patrick: "You kiss IT, (and to clarify) MY PENIS!!!"
Me: (groan..) "Can I put cream on it?"
Patrick: "Noooooo, you kiss it better!"
Me:  (forcing the creme on now) "Babe it's time for bed, no kissing penis!"


WHY ME????