Hear me out now... Fair warning... This is a bit of stream of thought... Well yesterday I got reprimanded by both my husband and our marriage counselor about being to hard on myself and setting unrealistic goals. She told me I had to change my attitude before my triathlon or it would be a complete flop! Blah :p What's the point of applying yourself to something this time consuming and not set high goals?
Ok so maybe I looked at the results posted from last year! So? I just wanted to know what type of competition I'm up against? Nothing wrong with that right? And so what if I noticed I'm in the top 3 for swim/bike but my run I drop down to 7th or 8th. Did I mention I hate running and will only do it fast to end it sooner! (eyup great attitude I know)... I'm kind of annoyed with myself for not being able to run faster.
Yaaaa so perhaps the counselor and Mark have a point! I should celebrate the fact that I am actually doing a triathlon (please note I am not doing an Olympic distance race this Sunday, only a 1/4 of the real thing). My next one will be 1/2 the Olympic distance. Anyway I actually find it really really hard not to be hard on myself? Is that a type A thing? I also feel that since I've spent so much time away from my family and had to rely on Mark to pick up the extra slack that I want to "show" them that it was worth it. You know... that their toil wasn't in vain! I've been struggling with feeling guilty about doing this triathlon... and wanting to do it again next year. In fact I've got my heart set on looking for sponsors in late fall... Because the costs are so high and I don't want it to burden my family any more. But again more stress... I want to have a good "story" to sell right?
"Mom of 4 does her first ever triathlon and takes home hardware!!!!" How super awesome would that be! Mom of 4 does her first ever triathlon and places 7th...just doesn't have the same... You know "Omph" to it! Again I think I'm being hard on myself, but truly I want to rock this so that it's been worth all the effort, I want to rock this so that I can have an awesome story so that I can have some free equipment... I am totally fine being a walking advertisement for a company if it means I didn't have to spend the 60$-100$ on the bike jersey or shorts!
So here I am 2 days before the race, today I got in the pool and timed some of my splits! I am happy with the pace that I was swimming and the times I was making. Tomorrow I have a massage/ART (active release techniques) and I'm bringing my bike for a pre-race tune up! Saturday I plan on just chilling and getting lots of sleep and eating lots of healthy food. (well actually I've been eating super healthy food all week, plus added an iron supplement and cut out caffeine). My plan is to have a kick ass strong yerba mate tea a half hour before my race and hopefully enjoy the benefits! Ok I won't lie to you, it has sucked not having caffeine, for 2 days now I've been dealing with headaches, but I think tomorrow will be better. Wow that stuff is addictive! But I don't think I'll give it up, just try to minimize it near races dates!
Ok rant complete! I just felt like I had to share my stress with everyone! And I feel better now!